I really enjoyed this TED talk:
So this weekend I got together with some of my girlfriends for an evening of good wine, bad food (as in great tasting, but super calorific) and cheesy movies.
Now, I love a cheesy romantic movie. After all, I am a romantic at heart. But, as we watched some of these movies (a couple of which I had watched countless times before), I began to see them in a different light.
While I know that these movies aren’t representative of real life – as much as we might wish they were. I still wonder at some of the messages they send. And at how easily we buy into them.
Let me give you an example – Jerry Macguire. How many of as had our heart strings pulled when Jerry, after realising what a douche he’d been, appeals to Dorothy with the now iconic line “You complete me”.
Like thousands of other women (and men), I loved that scene.
But this weekend, when I heard it again, something was different.
You complete me.
YOU COMPLETE ME.
I didn’t love it any more. I didn’t even like it, just a little bit. Maybe it’s an age thing, and I see things differently now, but I just don’t find the idea of “completing” someone at all romantic.
If you aren’t a whole man, why would I want you?
Take your broken-ass self and skeeeedaddle!
Okay, so I’m not talking about the dents and scratches we all acquire as we go through life. No one gets through it all unscathed. But if you (unnamed dude) aren’t complete on your own, no one is going to be able to fill you up. No half-men need apply here.
I want to be a complete and healthy person on my own. YOU should want to be a complete and healthy person on your own. Now together…. Together, we should be the best versions of ourselves AND infinitely greater than the sum of our parts.
But do you see how we all bought into that movie? That it seemed romantic rather than dysfunctional? And most of us would never stop to question it.
Maybe it’s easy for me to say this from where I stand – I AM single. Maybe, if some guy I loved told me that I “completed him”, I would love it. Maybe I wouldn’t feel the urge to run (run, run, Forest run).
Guess we’ll see. If I ever find myself in that situation I’ll be sure to let you guys know..
In the meantime.. I decided to re-write that line:
I love you. You complement me.
It may not be as catchy…
BUT I like it.
So that was my first post! Yay!
Till next time..
Just a quick note to say “Hi”.
I’ll be posting more over the next couple of days – just getting things set-up and figuring out the lay of the land.
Will be back soon!